Markku performs hostile takeover of Ferrari S.p.A by accident
Earlier this morning there was unfortunate mishap in Italy. The finnish Olympic curling team, lead by "Massimo" Uusipaavalniemi, were conducting some undercover training to avoid Canadian spies.Even the GREATEST PEOPLE EVER sometimes make mistakes and this was the day for Uusipaavalniemi: Markku made the mistake of confusing a RED Ferrari Enzo sportscar at FULL SPEED for a RED Canadian curler. His last stone tore the Ferrari in half.
Inside the car was the CEO of Ferrari. He immediately surrendered before Markku's PUMPED-UP BODY and offered him control of the Italian automaker of super fine sportscars. Markku decided not to take control due to the tradition of using red colour (which reminded him of the Canadian team).
Uusis and Ferrari reached an agreement which prohibits export of Ferrari automobiles to Canada. "I was scared shitless, but now he is like an awesome BROTHER to me - I even arranged a him a date with my DAUGHTER!" comments Luca Cordero di Montezemolo.
Uusipaavalniemi was not shaken by the event: "I've never made a mistake twice within 5442 hours, so I'm feeling ÜBER confident"