Appaling news of events in Canada have risen. Apparently the curling team of canada has ran out of stones and has been training with live CHILDREN for the last six months.
Satellite imagery from Toronto has shown that childen have infact been stoned and deprived of their lawful rights for clean diapers. Now proof has been posted on teh canadian intarweb
The legendary Markku Uusipaavalniemi has expressed feelings of deep awesomeness: "I think it is sick! Even in poor, developing countries such as Canada one should not allow events like these to take place."
Thankfully Agent M-15 is a man of action and has already organized an aid project in co-operation with Amnesty international. The finnish curling team will send two hundred and fifteen tonnes of QUALITY STONE to aid Canada. Via airfreight.
Amnesty has agreed to send five thousand FLUFFY LION SUITS (shown below) to protect the poor canadian toddlers still subject to this cruelty.
A child howls in pain inspite of protective fluffy lion suit in Quebec this morning
(For additional information relative to the Tim Hortons KidsCurl Coach Program, please contact your provincial/territorial curling association.)