Finnish people face the morning of the SHOWDOWN with mixed feelings. Intelligence indicates that the Finnish Curling force is facing a difficult challenge - the Canadian Curling Army outnumbers the finns a thousand to one. Led by Marshal C.G.E Uusipaavalniemi and armed with STONES and BROOMS the thousand finnish curling enthusiasts face a million Canadians.
The situation bears a striking resemblence to the WINTER WAR fought against the USSR. Finnish men fought bravely against an impossible enemy: the red army. With true awesomeness the finns retained the indepencence of the fatherland. And we thank you for that!
But it is once again proven that history repeats itself. To the benefit of the Finnish Army the Red Army sort of sucked at waging war in the winter during the 1940s. The mighty finns once again hold an advantage against their enemy: The team of SOVIET CANADA is not accustomed to playing curling ON ICE. According to reports the Canucks curl on the tropical beaches of the Northern Territories.
Our spies in Ottawagrad, Winnipegrad and Niagaragrad report that the canadian folk are confident of their victory. Propaganda Minister of Canada, Comrad Paul Martin, sends his regards to Marshal Uusipaavalniemi: "Ruki verh, Ruki vehr!"
Canadian propaganda leaflet. Picture taken with the most advanced CAMERA TECHNOLOGY the Canadians posses. It also proves that Canadian font-scientists do not yet master the secrets of COMIC SANS atom bomb.
Only time will tell how the battle will end. But the finns believe our MIGHTY WARRIORS OF THE ARCTIC will be victorious. our hearts are with you on the icy battlefield.
This might very well be the last post.
P.S. Soundtrack of Curling, available soon. See tracklist